Culture,  Humor

I hate Macs

A clever article in a British paper scores one for PC users everywhere. In “I hate Macs,” the author lampoons Mac computers and their pretentious new ad campaign:

PCs are the ramshackle computers of the people. You can build your own from scratch, then customise it into oblivion. . . PCs have charm; Macs ooze pretension. When I sit down to use a Mac, the first thing I think is, “I hate Macs”, and then I think, “Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?” Losing that second mouse button feels like losing a limb. If the ads were really honest, Webb would be standing there with one arm, struggling to open a packet of peanuts while Mitchell effortlessly tore his apart with both hands. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.

Cue 10 years of nasal bleating from Mac-likers who profess to like Macs not because they are fashionable, but because “they are just better”. . . The only way to have fun with a Mac is to poke its insufferable owner in the eye.

“I hate Macs” – Guardian Unlimited


  • Ken Abbott

    My very first entrance into the world of personal computing (the DigiCorp Edusystem 20 that we had in high school–toggle switches and TTYs and punch tape and everything–doesn’t count) was a Commodore 64, from which I “upgraded” to an Amiga a few years later. Around 1990 I decided I needed a more serious computer and bought, after much research and poring over the bank balance, a Mac IIsi. I was very happy with it, except for having to wait a bit longer for all the cool games that went to PC first. I even bought a knock-off pseudo-Mac laptop that served me well for several years until the power source died and no one could replace it because the company that made it went out of business. When PowerPCs came out, I upgraded once more. But by then the Air Force had put a PC on everyone’s desk and the applications I used at work were all PC-based. So in 1998 I converted to the Dark Side and haven’t really looked back.

    But there was something cute about those Macs that the PC world just has not caught.

  • Paul

    The mac vs. PC thing comes down to application. For 99% of the computer users of the world, PC’s are just fine, and they’ll never really see much of a difference between the two, outside of the fact that macs don’t crash as often, and there’s less software for them.

    However, if you’re involved in heavy duty media, macs are the only obvious choice. All of the software that I use on a daily basis (finale, cakewalk, etc) was designed for a mac and runs far better on macs than it ever does on a PC. And I use a PC for all of it, and all my computer ever does is crash. And don’t get me started on how much work I’ve lost in Photo and Print shop over the years on my PC.

    As soon as I can afford the Mac of my dreams, I’m getting one and not looking back. But then again, for the software I run, I need one. Most everyone else doesn’t. Your results may vary.

  • Jonathan Moorhead

    I actually take my Mac to work every day so that I don’t have to defile my fingers with the PC. I have used both in my life and I will never . . . let me repeat . . . never use PCs again.


  • Debbie

    I started using the Atari 800 and moved up to the ST. I hated it when Atari went from building computers to marketing games for the PC. It is really shocking when you think what happened to Steve Jobs And Bushnell when they were competing with IBM. I hate it when they sold out to to the Microsoft empire.

  • Robert I Masters

    How about the best of both worlds….Ubuntu Linux.
    You can use it on Macs and on PCs.
    Bottom line with Linux…..TCO.
    Total Cost of Ownership is less with linux boxes.
    Thats why this organization uses Linux.(Red Hat)

  • Steve Hayes


    What is this thing you speak of. I don’t understand a whole lot about computers. You’ll have to break it down for me.

    And, by the way, I did get a Mac because it looked cool. There, I said it. I also happen to like my Mac. I do, however, think that the ad campaign is passive/aggressive. It’s kind like they’re saying, “Yeah, we like you, but you’re really lame.” Clever, but a little cheap.

  • Rick

    Macs can use a two-button mouse. If you press and hold the mouse button it does the same thing in many apps as well. Bet he wasn’t astute enough to think about that.

    I can say though, that I’m not overly ecstatic over the hardware performance of my new Macbook, but would be completely content to never use Windows again.

  • Robert I Masters

    Steve Hayes,
    Ubuntu is one of about 300 or more Linux Operating Systems(OS) available.
    Ubuntu will run on either MAC systems or PC systems.
    Ubuntu is always free in cost and free in ability to change to suit your own needs.
    Its developed by communities of people who make it better; rather than by corporations.
    Microsoft Vista is an OS and so is Mac Leopard.
    In Christ
    Robert I masters

  • Zach Nielsen

    Here is a challenge for you:

    1. Find ten PC users
    2. Find ten mac users

    Then ask them the following questions:

    1. How many times did you computer freeze up causing a restart in the last month?
    2. Have you ever gotten even the smallest of viruses?
    3. How easy is it for you to set up a super fast file sharing network from computer to computer?
    4. How much did you spend on video editing software, picture software, and music editing software?
    5. How easy is it to find search out files on your computer? Do you usually find what you are looking for?
    6. Where do you go to get your computer questions answered?
    7. How long did it take you to find and install all the drivers you needed for things such as your printer, digital camera, sound card, video camera, etc
    8. How easy is it for you to make a podcast?
    9. Which computer can run Windows and Mac OS on the same computer?
    10. How easy is it for you to do video chat?

    Based on the results the evidence will be clear which is superior.


    Former PC user for 10 years.

  • Robert I Masters

    Zach Nielsen,
    Another question you forgot! How much did the OS and hardware cost?

    With the exception of number 9…Ubuntu wins hands down!
    Go Open source!
    Robert I Masters

  • Rick

    I’m all for open source, but a Linux based OS won’t answer your hardware and software questions for you in person (#6). Although not flawless, the Genius bar guys have proven far superior than any warranty related system from any computer company.

  • dorsey

    Whatever helps you feel better about yourself is ok, I guess. The sad truth is that Mac users are just better than other people. What you’re experiencing is a similar feeling to the one non-Calvinists have when Calvinists talk about how elect they are. ; )

  • Dougq

    I have owned PC’s since they came out — until three years ago when I bought the Apple Powerbook that I am typing on now. It is the only computer that I have ever owned that has gone so long without EVER having any problem, or lock up. Works today exactly as it did the first time I turned it on.

    That is the type of “pretension” that will make me never buy a PC again.

  • John

    As a CS major and web-programmer, I have used both. I am amazed at the number of simpletons who will buy any computer by its look or “feel”. A computer is a tool. A hammer does not drive a nail better because it looks cool or is made out of titanium. And hackers in the know have been using PCs loaded with BeOS for years.

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