Last week, National Review Online published an anonymous article titled “Getting Serious about Pornography.” The testimonial of the author is heart-rending. She writes:
“By his own account, my husband of 13 years and high-school sweetheart, was first exposed to pornography around age ten. He viewed it regularly during high school and college — and, although he tried hard to stop, continued to do so throughout the course of our marriage…
“Then one morning around 2am he called, intoxicated, from his office to announce that he had ‘developed feelings’ for someone new. The woman he became involved with was an unemployed alcoholic with all the physical qualities of a porn star — bleached blond hair, heavy makeup, provocative clothing… Within a few months he had moved permanently out of the home he shared with me and our five young children. In retrospect, I believe he succumbed to the allure of the secret fantasy life he had been indulging since his adolescence…
“I will never know with full certainty that pornography caused my husband to abandon me and our children. Although I loved him deeply, I was far from a perfect wife. In retrospect, I wish I had understood what he was experiencing and had acted to help him.”
This article is a secular one and only offers a description of the problem, not a solution. But there is hope for those who are falling to this sin—the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Christ came into the world to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). That includes not only forgiveness through his sacrificial death on the cross (Romans 5:8-10; 1 Peter 3:18), but also power to live a holy life free from pornography (Romans 6:4).
If you are stuck in the rut of pornography, don’t delay repenting another moment. Tell someone, get accountable, and flee (2 Timothy 2:22). You have everything to gain if you turn to Him today. You have everything to lose if you don’t. It is as John Owen said, “Be killing sin, or it will be killing you.”
[John Piper has numerous resources addressing this topic. I would recommend in particular his ANTHEM strategy for fighting lust.]
Helpful Resources Compiled by Andy Naselli
Books
- Joshua Harris, Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World (Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah, 2003). Amazon | WTSBooks
- Randy Alcorn, The Purity Principle: God’s Safeguards for Life’s Dangerous Trails (Sisters, OR: Multnomah, 2003). Amazon | WTS Books
- John Piper, The Dangerous Duty of Delight: The Glorified
God and the Satisfied Soul (Sisters, OR: Multnomah, 2001). Amazon | WTS Books (audiobook) - William Struthers, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain (Downers Grove: IVP, 2010). Amazon | WTS Books
Articles on the Web
- Thomas Chalmers, “The Expulsive Power of a New Affection“
- David Powlison, “Breaking Pornography Addiction” (Part 1; Part 2)
- Tim Challies, “Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Married Guy” and “Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Single Guy
Accountability Software
5 Comments
Matthew
I think this is a critical topic for many men and women in the church today.
A friend-of-a-friend, a youth leader, said that 100% of the kids in his youth group who had a computer in their room struggled with looking porn.
xxxchurch is a bit edgy but they have some good things to offer.
purityreport.com has a neat idea, the 40 day challenge.
Celebrate Recovery is a Christian 12-step program. Such programs have limitations but have also helped many people.
Matthew
I tried to comment, I think the filter blocked it. Probably due to the subject matter.
Debbie Petersen
Two excellent and caring ministries are available to anyone in sexual addictions http://www.thepinkcross.org and nationalcoalition.org
Darius T
If you want a great Christian organization to fight for purity, check out the National Coalition for Purity at http://www.puritycoalition.org
Every church should check them out! So many churches think it’s not a problem with their men… they are terribly mistaken.
Lucas Knisely
All great stuff here. Covenant Eyes is a great thing to implement in church leadership and small groups. We are all trying to say away from Vanity Fair on the way to the Celestial City.