My ranking of gloriously awesomer Xtian album covers

Relevant magazine recently published “The Definitive Ranking of Insanely Awesome Christian Album Covers.” And while this is a respectable list, I am not yet ready to say it is the “definitive ranking”—not by a long shot. Relevant may not have done its due diligence on this one. I’m a bit of a connoisseur myself when it comes to such things, so I offer my own top ten ranking of gloriously awesomer Christian album covers.

1. 4Him
Some bands need more cowbell. This band needs more cardigan. C’mon, Kirk! Get rid of that Fonzie jacket. I have a fever that can only be cured by more cardigan!

(I still love this album, by the way. It’s a classic.)

2. Stryper
Okay, this isn’t actually an album cover. It’s from the inside cover of Stryper’s “To Hell with the Devil.” But still, wow.
3. Michael W. Smith
World-bending paradoxes ensue when a guy appears frolicking through the design printed on the front of his own sweater. What does that even mean?
4. Amy Grant
Before she crossed over, there was this.
5. Carman
The one and only showstopper known as Carman. It’s like he’s channeling Taco from that super spooky video for “Puttin on the Ritz.”
6. Carman
If you know Carman, you know he deserves two slots on this list. He is, after all, Carman. Which may render him the most gloriously awesomer of them all.
7. Steven Curtis Chapman
This is a great album, and this guy is still making great music. But sometimes the hair alone is enough to land a guy on this list.
8. Al Denson
I never actually owned this album, but I remember that hair. Winning!
9. Lost Dogs
This cover is Lost Dogs’s rendering of “Little Red Riding Hood,” the title of the album. Still a great record and ahead of its time. Two best songs are “No Ship Coming In” and “Duncecamp.”
10. DC Talk
Does this cover fill you with confidence that these guys can really rap and dance? Well, they did. If you love rap music you might be heavenbound.

7 Responses to My ranking of gloriously awesomer Xtian album covers

  1. Christiane Smith October 8, 2015 at 8:31 pm #

    A favorite from Yo Yo Ma’s ‘Songs of Joy and Peace’ album

  2. mscottc October 9, 2015 at 12:18 am #

    I can think of so many good and bad Christian album covers. Some of Steve Taylor’s were classic. For example, “I Want to be a Clone” and “I Predict 1990.” When Amy Grant’s “Unguarded” album came out, I remember thinking how many thought it was scandalous compared to her debut and other benign selfie covers. But nothing came close to the scandal of Larry Norman’s “So Long Ago the Garden.” Daniel Amos (aka DA) also had some of the greatest album covers, like “Doppelganger”, “Fearful Symmetry”, “Kalhoun” and “Motor Cycle.” And who can forget The 77’s great covers as well, especially “Pray Naked.”

  3. mscottc October 9, 2015 at 12:33 am #

    Now you got me going. How about the Newsboys, “Take Me to Your Leader” and “Love Liberty Disco.” Or Delirious’ “King of Fools.” Tonio K’s “Notes From the Lost Civilization.” Mark Heard’s “Satellite Sky.” They just don’t make ’em like they used to.

  4. Ian Shaw October 9, 2015 at 8:24 am #

    – MxPx’s ‘Life in General’ album cover
    -O.C. Supertones ‘Adventures of the O.C. Supertones’
    -Five Iron Frenzy’s ‘All the hype that money can buy’
    -The Insyderz ‘Skalelluia’

  5. James Harold Thomas October 9, 2015 at 11:04 am #

    Degarmo and Key — Communication. And their song “Six Six Six” on this album is a classic. We still sing it on our church’s Easter Sunrise Service. That and “God Bless Earth and Outer Space” from the 1975 Southern Baptist Hymnal.

    Now let’s see if this works.

    http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120115022532/lyricwiki/images/3/32/DeGarmo_And_Key_-_Communication.jpg

  6. Nathan Cesal October 9, 2015 at 5:43 pm #

    I’m confused because it seems your list and the one on Relevant contain album covers from different categories: Really Good, Really Bad, and So Bad, They’re Good

    Here are my favs that are Really Good.

    Sweet Comfort Band, Perfect Timing — Best Graphic Ever!
    Degarmo & Key, D&K — Splatter Paint Keytar!
    Zion, Thunder From the Mountain — Metal Band fighting off dragons from a cliff
    Keith Green, No Compromise — Standing alone, not bowing
    Allies, Long Way from Paradise — I’m infatuated with that mural

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  1. MUSIC REVIEWS and NEWS | Coram Deo ~ - October 14, 2015

    […] album covers. Sadly, I had a few of them (Petra, Stryper and Leon Patillo). Denny Burk adds his contributions to this ranking. I think I had the majority of these as well, (minus Carmen, of […]

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