Mary Kassian has a fascinating Q&A with a leading egalitarian on the subject of abuse. The context of Kassian’s conversation is a review that Kassian wrote last May on the book “Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife.” I recommend reading the review first, then the Q&A.
If I were Ruth my follow up question would be:
Despite husbands not having the “right” to force their wives to do these things, if a husband asks one of them of his wife, is she obligated to comply”?
So, for example, a husband asks his wife not to ever leave the house without him *with no implied threat of coercive force*. Should she voluntarily submit to his request? If he asks to keep her phone for the foreseeable future? Etc.
Denny, given you’re now leading the CBMW, care to field this one?
It’s always seemed to me that the version of complementarianism advanced by its more moderate proponents and that is, in reality, lived out by most “mainstream” complementarian couples, is almost indistinguishable an egalitarian system in which each partner is actively seeking his spouse’s good before his own.
Kassian uses the term “loving oversight” and rejects the model in which the husband is more like a general giving orders to a lower-ranking subordinate (presumably for their mutual benefit).
So, then, what is a possible example of a situation where a complementarian marriage operating in “loving oversight” mode looks different than a high-functioning egalitarian marriage in which both partners love God and prioritize their spouse’s good before their own? What is the functional difference between the two?
I go to an evangelical church; most of my friends there would consider themselves complementarian. When I consider their marriages, though, they don’t seem all that different from my own.