Heath Lambert has an outstanding article in the most recent issue of JBMW. The article is about the problem of pornography, and Lambert’s take on the whole issue is particularly practical and helpful. He opens with this:
Pornography is the defining sexual sin of our day. In Christian circles adultery and homosexuality often capture more headlines, but I am persuaded that in terms of sheer numbers they cannot hold a candle to the devastation of pornography. Last year I counseled six people struggling with homosexuality and around eighteen caught in adultery and fornication. I don’t know exactly how many I helped who were locked in pornography, but the number is in the dozens. As bad as that number sounds those people are not the ones I am concerned about since they came trying to expose the darkness to light and find grace to help in their time of need. They wanted help.
The people who concern me are the ones that did not seek out me or anyone else. These people pose the deeper problem. They are the ones who are hiding in the dark while destroying their marriages, ministries, and Christian witness under the radar. They are the ones waiting to be caught when they least expect it. They are the ones who will not know God’s blessing in their home or ministry even though things might appear to be going well on the outside. They need urgent help, but will not get it because nobody knows they have a problem.
He enumerates the real reasons that men seek out pornography, some of which are failures of biblical manhood. There are six:
2. Desire for Promiscuity
3. Craving for anonymity in sexual relationships
4. Desire for short relationships
5. Desire for shallow relationships
6. Desire for youth
7. Desire for the ease of passive sexual fulfillment
As I said, this is a really helpful little article. Read the rest of it here.
Thank you for posting this. As a Christian woman, I have to say that some of your recent posts on gender roles have frustrated me greatly – mainly because I find women in leadership to be far less of a problem in the churches I’ve been a member in than men committing virtual adultery. Perhaps the reason so many women are reluctant to respect/submit to men in our families and churches is because of our awareness of how prevalent and yet downplayed this sin is by men in leadership. Somehow, instead of treating this sin as something that disqualifies men from leadership, it gets excused as just something all men “struggle with.” I think the Bible is even more clear about this sin being a disqualification than the passages on gender roles. Please treat the issue accordingly.
I agree with you, Karen. It is a disqualifying sin.