Candace Cameron Bure is perhaps best known for her role as a child star on the 80’s sitcom “Full House.” Like her brother Kirk Cameron, she has grown up to be an outspoken Christian. She has been in the news lately promoting her new book Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose. In the book, she promotes what looks to be a complementarian view of gender roles in her marriage. I have not read the book, but I have read the passage that is raising eyebrows in her media appearances. She writes,
My husband is a natural-born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work. I had watched my parents’ relationship over the years and had seen their example of doing what needed to be done to make the marriage work. I knew I needed to do whatever it took to stay in sync with Val and not build any bitterness because of our equally strong personalities.
Before the hair on your neck stands up straight, don’t think for a second that I get walked all over. I don’t. I have always firmly voiced my opinion, but when it comes down to us ultimately not agreeing on something, I submit to his leadership. That decision to submit originally had nothing to do with my Christian faith, because it wasn’t strong at the time. But once I started understanding marriage from a biblical perspective it all made sense. I now recognize that I do all things in my marriage for the Lord. He is my ultimate priority, and I honor God when I honor my husband, whether or not Val deserves my honor or respect at the time.
The Bible is very clear about what husbands and wives should strive toward in their relationship. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let each [husband] love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Is that always an easy thing to do? No, it’s not easy from either person’s perspective. But it is vastly important. When a man feels like his wife doesn’t respect him, it basically makes him feel like he’s a failure or less of a man. A man desires his wife’s respect as much as a woman desires her husband’s love. The I think about it is this: When I don’t show respect to my husband, he feels the same way I do when he doesn’t show love to me. On the other hand, when I do show him respect, his emotional reaction is the same as mine is when he shows me I’m the love of his life. That is the great motivation for me to respect my husband.
–Balancing It All, pp. 97-99
As you can imagine, these remarks about “submission” have been quite controversial in her media appearances. In particular, an interview with The Huffington Post has been making the rounds.
I don’t know much about Candace Cameron Bure, but I really do appreciate her speaking so plainly and biblically in hostile contexts. Let’s be honest. Her message is counter-cultural in the extreme. It is downright offensive to modern sensibilities. And yet she has the courage of her convictions, is willing to state her views, and to let the chips fall where they may. That is commendable.
You can watch her interview with The Huffington Post below. Her remarks about submission in marriage begin at about 4:44. ABC News’ coverage of the interview is below that.