Christianity,  Culture

Where are the men?

Owen Strachan’s reflections on the spirit of the age are spot-on. Here’s a clip:

“I cannot imagine what it is like to be a single twenty- or thirty-something woman in the broader culture today.  It must be a ghastly experience.  Following feminist tenets, you’ve worked your way to a fantastic job in an ultra-urban setting.  Because you’re responsible, you’ve been able not only to save money but to buy a nice apartment.  You take care of yourself, eat good food, go to fun shows and movies, and generally live a glamorous lifestyle.  There’s just one thing missing: a good man.

“While you were pushing your way to the top, he was floating through his twenties, leaving this job, taking another, never committing to anything.  He spent copious amounts of time reading comic books, watching his favorite Judd Apatow movies, and whining about his lack of direction.  He’s shluffy.  He looks nothing like the man you used to look up to, the grandfather you adored, who wasn’t a perfect man but who did hard things, took care of his family, and would have looked at you speechless if you asked him how he found himself and his purpose in life.  He’s sweet-hearted and cuddly, but something about that rubs you wrong.  Aren’t you supposed to be the one who epitomizes those traits?

“Actually, this dude has a brother.  This guy is a man, a mensch.  He’s a power-broker, ambitious, handsome, devastating in conversation.  Your knees go weak every time he talks to you.  He has the bearing of a Greek philosopher-king and the confidence only a financial whiz can possess.  He’s taken you on a few dates, and you were held in his thrall, but then he went weeks, even months, without calling you.  You were confused, but you shrugged it off.  Later you heard he proposed to a Chilean government strategist who modeled on the side.  You sighed at the news, but moved on with your life.  A year or two later you were surprised–though not shocked–to find that he had compromised his marriage by a bender in Las Vegas.  Turns out that the bender wasn’t isolary, either–the guy had cheated on his wife ten times over.”

Read the rest here.


  • Nate

    I am probably going to come off sounding old (and I am, 50+), but here goes anyway. Much of my thoughts are pointed at “christian families”, so please read with that in mind.

    First of all, blame the father’s of the current twenty-somethings. They raised these “man-boys” to be who they are. Father’s shoulder the biggest blame. You are not your son’s pal, you are his father; act like it.

    Second, blame the men in the church (or lack thereof) for not holding these “adolescents” accountable in the middle school/high school years. However, this points back to blame the father’s, who for the most part, didn’t teach their sons to obey authority or show respect to men who were older and would have never tolerated anyone else putting their son in his place. See, “How dare you speak to my son like that?”

    Third, blame Institutions especially so called bible-colleges and universities who tolerate and permeate a culture of “boys” and allow these “boys” to sink themselves into debt for student-loans, etc. Debt that places them under the burden of a task-master for an extended period of time post college. Instead they should be teaching them to live within their means, preparing them for their roles as providers and protectors. And while some “christian” institutions don’t allow federal money (grants, etc.), they still allow these “boys” to take private student-loans, so they are not exempt.

    To some degree you can add parent’s of girls, who have trained their daughters to make it on their own, which is all well and good until they go looking for husband, usually not until their latter twenties, thus allowing the “boys” to remain adolescents into their middle twenties. What did you expect to find at that point girls?

    Again, these are my ramblings on Christian situations. As for the rest of the culture, well…

  • Donald Johnson

    Is this piece another version of “all the good ones are taken”?

    Yes, a man can choose to act irresponsible or like a cad, one learns to avoid these types as dating material.

    And there are similar undesirable types of women, a man can choose to not date these types.

    I read somewhere (I forget where) that if one is on the market, to be the type of person one wants to attract. If you want to date/marry a person with character, BE a person with character. If you want to date someone who loves the Lord, BE someone who loves the Lord. If you want someone who respects your boundaries, BE someone who respects others’ boundaries. Etc.

  • Scott K

    “He looks nothing like the man you used to look up to, the grandfather you adored, who wasn’t a perfect man but who did hard things, took care of his family, and would have looked at you speechless if you asked him how he found himself and his purpose in life.”

    Wouldn’t this traditional man be speechless, too, if you asked him to write a reflective blog post on the status of masculinity in contemporary life?

  • Kelley Kimble

    I don’t think women are exactly all they could be either, as a rule. I think the proper question is, what happened to the whole culture? I’m almost glad that my grandparents aren’t here to see it.

  • Reg Schofield

    Here is what my wife has said before.Boys are raised by mothers and fathers but a mother shapes that man in ways that will reflect in his attitude towards life.

  • Bill Trip

    A big part of this blame should fall to the ladies who are running after money and success who never give Christian men the time of day!

  • Bill Trip

    This article could easily be called, “What happened to the ladies?” I am so beyond tired of hearing and reading articles that do nothing but bash men!

  • Sue

    Even though I am a shameless promoter of equality for women, I also feel that young men today are getting a bad rap. There are reasons why it is hard to be a young man today.

    At the same time, I am disturbed by what I read today – and I do think that it can be supported,

    “Fact: Young women put back 90% of their income into their household, but men only give back 30-40%. By directing the money they earn back into the household, girls can help their families to stay healthy, secure and educated.”

    Because of this, in order to fight hunger and poverty, women must have an equal decision-making role. At the same time, men and women must enter into partnership.


    I would be interested in your thoughts on this. How can we promote the proper woman’s role in decision making, and at the same time, not take away from men? I sincerely want to see men and women working together for safety and health in the family.

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