This leads to me another thing, if my child sins and I discpine he/she, then the whole point of the act is repentence and then reconciliation. When God forgives us our sins are as far as east is from west. I have often wondered if grounding or the taking away of priviledges holds sin over a child’s head. Instead of taking their repentence and reconciliattion seriously, some times parents can just keep reminding the child of the sin by the suspension of activities. Not that sanctions aren’t appropriate in some circumstance, but I think many times it places an unbiblical burden on the soul of a child.

I guess another thing that I remember is that if I don’t take care of those temper tantrums early and train a child while he is still young, then the issues don’t just go away when they become teenagers, many things are in fact amplied. Modesty doesn’t start at twelve and neither does self-control. A toddler taught to patiently wait for the blessing to eat and a four year old taught to respect his sister by opening doors and pulling out chairs may both have a better transition to adulthood because parents have been consistent. It’s my personal goal when people say to me, “you just wait until they ALL are teenagers,” to stimulate myself to action so that, Lord willing, I will have young adults who are confident in their faith as well as blessings to their church and family. I just keep in mind that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and that unhappy teenagers are made solely by peer pressure or raging hormones.

If anything the verses in Proverbs are giving some good general wisdom that parents need to discipline their children and parents that don’t aren’t doing their child any favors. I don’t think the Bible is privileging beating/flogging a child with a rod (much less corporal punishment) as God’s preferred method. I agree with Jada that a parent should have many different methods for disciplining a child and should use wisdom on when each should be applied.

Blessings,
Bryan L

As well, I did a Bible study back in college that I believe Denny himself probably did, as it was offered at the church we attended while in college. It was called “Experiencing God”. In response to not needing prayer or confirmation from others, well, the way I see it God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways. (taken from the study written by Henry Blackaby).

Therefore I can, with God’s help and guidance, be discerning in how I discipline my child. And when I do spank my child, which I do for certain offenses, but not all, (b/c not all offenses warrant a spanking, at least in our household), I make sure that I am not spanking out of anger and that my child knows that what he or she did was wrong and why they are being punished.

And I stand by the fact that spanking is not the ONLY form of discipline for all children. I mean there are hundreds of ‘good’ Christian authors books on discipline i.e. Lisa Welchel’s book “Creative Correction” but I guess we shouldn’t read that b/c it is not mentioned in the Bible. And what about all the books from Focus on the Family? They mention other methods, should we ban those, too?

Heck no!!! I never said that spanking is bad, but God has given my husband and I intuition to know how to be a parent and how to raise/discipline our children. And spanking is not always the form of discipline that is most effective. This comes from prayer and asking God how to help us be better parents, as well as reading others words that they ‘say’ God has given them in re: to being better parents, disciplining kids, etc. and talking to other GODLY Christian parents who have come to the same conclusion.

If that makes me a bad Christian, a bad pastor’s wife, a bad minister so be it. I stand by it.

From a Bible-believing Christian who has a differing view. PEACE!

what you have written sounds well and good…even reasonable, but is that what we are called to do: .evaluate different methods of punishment to see which is most effective?…
nothing has ever occurred to God, He did not fail to see options that may be available at some point in the future, nor did He give principles and commands as suggestions for HIs children…i will not claim to be a sinless mother always spanking with perfect motive and method, but as Denny already quoted in the original post, scripture gives clear direction to spank children…i think it seems most effective at the early ages of rebellion, and am convinced that our Creator knows better than we what is right to do concerning ALL areas of life…He has withheld nothing from us and though we cannot always see how things will work out in the end, we are still accountable for obeying our Father as we exact obedience from our children…obviously discipline goes far beyond corporal punishment…teaching a child and rearing in the instruction of the Lord is so important (maybe that is what you referred to)…but time out, taking away privileges etc. simply is not what God told us to do fwhen correcting little ones….spankings should hurt but abuse clearly is not an acceptable action…spanking in fact is the opposite of abuse…it is the most difficult act of love i know….
i just think it is presumptuous to assume that we have methods available to us that are better than the commands of the Lord, and to say that one form of discipline doesn’t work with all kids is to say that God only gave us part of what we need….though we cannot be assured that even perfect child rearing will lead our children to a saving relationship with the Savior Jesus Christ, we can be sure that if we as parents submit humbly to HIs divine order and command, He will continue to change us… His will will be done….what a joy to be a part of the perfect plan to redeem His people and sanctify us…

grace and peace to you as you seek HIm in all things

I think the big thing here is to educate parents on many styles of discipline, spanking being one of them, and to know their children well enough to know what method is going to get through to them. KWIM?

I think there are many parents who only spank and don’t even try to investigate other options, or they spank in anger and don’t explain to their kids what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and the consequences (whatever that discipline is) they will receive.

Take for instance if my son tells me a lie, which thankfully at this point it rarely happens,but when it does I tell him “God is truth, we want to be like God, therefore, we tell the truth.” Then you have to find out why he was lying, did he hit his sister? did he get candy when he wasn’t supposed to? Was he covering for a friend or his little sister (this happens a lot)? Did he break something that is special to mom or dad?

I don’t think spanking is the end-all, be-all form of discipline, but I don’t think spanking should be outlawed either. I think parents need to be educated on how to be parents. Just b/c you can have a child (by natural means or adoption) doesn’t make you a parent. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals, and parents don’t always know what to do, especially when it comes to disciplining.

This is where we as a Church, as well as Christians, need to begin talking about parenting and how to be a paerent: discipline, communication with our kids, the difference in being a friend to your kids and being a parent to your kids, etc.

Okay, I am saying to much, just to say, this: I don’t agree with her at all, but we do need to distinguish b/t what is spanking-discipline and spanking-abuse and to know our kids and the various forms of discipline that we can use as parents and what is effective with our specific children, and one form doesn’t work with all kids.

Okay, I am done.